Last Words

Whenever I tell people I am a journalism student someone always brings up the fact that I'll be writing obituaries someday as a young reporter...it's a reality that I have come to accept lately in the competitive world of print.

But I never imagined the first obituary I would write would be my beloved Grandfather's a little over a year ago. My obituary days began before I even started my first year in school. And I wish now that I could go back and help rewrite it with some of the tips from Chapter 10.

It was a stressful time, my Grandfather had been in the hospital for weeks -- we all knew it was coming and yet I took it so hard when it finally happened. I still remember my two Aunts sitting at the kitchen table -- my Grandfather's favorite place in the house -- trying to fit this highly spirited human being's life in to less than 150 words. Impossible.

We got all the basic information in there and tried to make sure the important family members were mentioned, but where was the fact that my Grandfather loved coffee, would only drink that during the day. Or how much he loved his grandchildren, both human and animal. How his favorite TV show was Everybody Loves Raymond and he loved chicken parm or meatloaf at a dinner. And why didn't it say that the first time he saw me in a play, only a year before he passed, he cried in front of a crowded room of people because he was so proud of me.

I greatly appreciated the author trying to help your journalists understand the importance of good reporting on obituaries. But the sad fact is that most people -- everyday people -- are only afforded the sparce 150 words their families can afford. But I guess that's not the lesson I'm suppose to learn from this. It's good that they gave us a basic idea of what information is absolutely needed. Now I can reference that when the time comes -- as it inevitably will.

I also found it interesting when the chapter discussed the question, "how does that make you feel?" THANK YOU! Finally someone states in writing how stupid that question is. I understand the motive behind asking such a question but really-how DO you think I feel? Espically after something horrific has happened. I mean really -- grow some brains. But sometimes this insensitivity doesn't appear abnormal to some journalists going after sensationalism. I agree with the editors statement, "Newspapers aren't in the business of measuring grief."

Finally I found the policies most newspapers have regarding obituaries kind of odd but useful. For instance-not writing "in lieu of flowers please make donations..." All because of lobbying by flourists...really? What are we in politics? If that is correct information and what the family wants then why shouldn't it be printed? And secondly the absolute need for cause of death. Another ethical situation I may bring up in my next ethics question. I understand the idea of a public person being the deceased but a private individual -- why do you still need to air information that family members sometimes don't want public.

Maybe I need to toughen up a little before I approach the world of writing for the dead...